Willing to change...Or not?
Something has been bothering me for some time.
People around me(including myself), really close, that i interact with them on daily basis, people that i care about, have made me realize that changing your personality is not easy, no matter what the general opinion is.
I have this way of life, that when i interact with people that i like, or i like some part of their personality, the good parts from the people around me, and i try to incorporate it within me. i am really open to feedback and i use that feedback. Off course if i appreciate the quality. I am willing to change. To improve. To grow.
But this doesnt goes easy. It happened with myself, couple of my friends, and family that we notice a problem in the personality. And immediately as the feedback is received, you have the 'AHA' moment, and saying, "yes, i just realized that, and i would change".
But everything goes on in the way that it was before. and then you go with "why are you not changing when you know that you have to?", "how can you continue doing this?"
off course people tend to close and give up when they feel that they are personally "attacked". and nothing gets solved. no solution so far. just feeling angry or disappointed.
So i was quite annoyed by this. Cause i was doing the same thing. But after some time, i realized that the things that i really believed in, i really changed them. So why not other people can do that? why should i constantly challenge them when they dont want to change??? why should i do this to myself too???
And when i look back, i needed some 3-6 months to actually do that. Its wasnt a snap-shot change right away. Its only now that i can say that i feel comfortable with the change. that i really believe and stand for it.
So if we take people more easily, give them a chance, and enough time, that they would change.
that if you pressure them , they will feel intimidated, and wont be willing to change anymore. that doesnt mean that they dont want to change. it means that they are scared. that i was scared, from being to hard.
its better to understand, that we all need time. not that we dont want to change.
3 Comments:
Hmmmmmm...yep, each change needs time, but also good environment...you know the best, what is working for you to make you change happen.Somebody needs constant feedback, somebody needs just one comment/hint and time to digest such an idea...
And some changes are happening just like that - brain is not working he he he
November 28, 2006 5:20:00 AM MET
Recently I thought a lot about personal transformation and how it is working. I came to the conclusion that many people are not really willing to change themselves and thus the change happens unconsciously as they are denying any change. It is not that they don't take feedback into account or are not able to learn things, but for a real personal change something deeper has to be changed. Knowing something and even understanding and applying it is not the same as really deeply meaning it. Only if there is meaning behind ones actions and words, they are what you are. You can change your behaviour, but if you don't mean it... well... there was not real change.
November 28, 2006 1:56:00 PM MET
hi i havent talked to you since We Grow i saw this post and i remember our conversation with Pedro.
I hope you are doing well
Cheers
Juliana
March 30, 2007 2:00:00 AM MEST
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