Samurai Skill!
When you think of Samurai, what is the first thing that comes to your mind?
Honor, sword, warrior, combat, ancient civilization, maybe the last samurai Tom Cruise heheeh....well i had something other in mind....I was thinking about Anticipation as a skill. That is what first came to my mind.
Well, i opened the dictionary and saw that anticipation means - something expected, the act of predicting (as by reasoning about the future)...
I guess that this perception came from the movies with Samurai's...
you know, when they are training, often they are doing that with their eyes blindfolded, or fighting couple of people at once. they are expecting a hit, they are anticipating where the danger is coming from...finally they are understanding the environment beyond its means.
So, we as human beings have this skills, but its not really developed or used...cause we simply...don't. On the bottom end, why do we need it? i bet some would say to anticipate the lottery numbers, or stock exchange. heheheh not really. or if you are really good at it, you can do it and let me know :) we can both be rich!:)
I understood lately how this skill plays big role into my life. It releases me from a lot of stress, answers some of my questions, makes me smile all the time, makes me understand the people around me and their behaviours.
Situation I.
- You are waiting for your friend for 15 min. you are cold, angry and frustrated. you will - scream at him, tell him he is not your friend, how can you always wait, he is irresponsible, or leave.
- You are in a car jam. and you are running late on important meeting. you will - horn and scream, go left or right, go over the crosswalk, drive fast.
- You made mistake in your task where you work, and you feel that you will get fired. you will - wait and see what will happen.
- You were behaving like an ass with your love one, she/he will say to go to hell. you will - call him/her, say sorry, and ask for forgiveness. she/he will hang up. 1, 2, 3, 10 times. never seeing again.
This is how we usually behave. instead of...understand it deeper what happened. and reacting in accordance with it.
- You know that the friend is late...take a short walk, sing something in your mind, call someone for 10 min, but don't build up your negative feelings, cause you will blow up. who will win out of that?
- you know you cant do more. you will pass what 2-3 cars and that will save you 30 sec. better Sit back and wait. play some music on the radio. use the time that you have to alert your coworkers, and explain. use the time to plan how to handle the being late thing.
- you know that you missed something, but not sure what. go to you supervisor and alert him. tell him how you feel about it. solve it together. show that it means to you, that challenges you. cause you have seen it. he will apreciate a lot more that kind of approach...
- call once, and get shut off. call once more. you know she/he wont accept you easy. you know you have to work hard now. buy flowers, candy, sent postcard whatever you know he she likes. you know that its not about what you did, but she/he being hurt. you understand the whole thing.
Arguments happen when we are inconsiderate about the other party and we just say what comes to us, even when we are so emotional and not able to make objective comment...even if they are the ones wrong, we were able to see that, and don't rub it or tell it just to prove we are right...cause we know they will get defencive, protective, isolate... why not shut up, and have the satisfaction of mine, and only mine...without hurting...cause we were able to anticipate what will the others party behaviour be.
i feel that we all take brief or i can say ignorant observations about the things around us. and then we react in a natural manner. instinctively. all this makes stress, bad feelings, negative energy, even that might not look like that on the first sight.if we are aware enough of the observations that we do and we anticipate the behaviours of the the side involved we can tackle the situations a lot more smooth, if we anticipated what will happen, and learn how to deal with it. we will live a lot more happier.
Imagine one thing(or person) that is making you stressed or always drives you crazy. why you cant deal with it? its just draining your energy.
Imagine that you learned enough, you understood its behaviour. even if you cant do anything about it, you can make peace with it just because you understood it. so simple.
now all this sound good and we all do this, right? well, i still haven't figured out how to act consistently like this. how to be disciplined enough and to tackle your own daily behaviour. how to sharpen your sense so much so it will become part of your instinct!
5 Comments:
Ha! Exactly my way of looking at life!
The problem is that other people interpret that kind of behaviour as somehow indifferent as being calm in those situations could seem like one doesn't have any emotions.
But in fact you are only equanimous.
December 28, 2006 3:11:00 PM MET
The first thought comes to mind with "samurai" is Japanese history class. :)
December 29, 2006 3:06:00 AM MET
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January 11, 2007 6:03:00 AM MET
The how question is the key. In intellectual level you can understand all of this perfectly, you can have endless discussions over it and you can even become a teacher to others. But no matter how hard you try you can't get rid of all your automatic reactions.
The roots of your misbehaviours lie deep down in your unconcious mind and your habit patterns are so strongly curved in, that you can't enjoy perfect harmony and inside peace without some unwanted reactions to slip in.
Actually these are not my original thoughts, but something I was taught again last week, that I spent in 10-day meditation camp. Sitting there hours with endlessly increasing pain in my legs and body and learning how not to react with hatred towards this pain. And what is little physical pain in your legs that will soon pass compared to big overwhelming emotions caused by the people around you? I found out how skilled I am in my mind reacting part and how not skilled in cognitive part.
If you want to challenge yourself, this might do that in different levels. 10 days of total silence and waking up at 4 AM was an experience in itself, also 100 people equal, not judging them because of what they do, just being people (later my friend found out that he was living 10 days in one room with 11-time karate world champion, current succes coach in Germany). But the new way to start seeing how your reaction is really nothing more than a sensation in your body, nothing to do with other person, but only your own body - this was the thing I knew long time with my brain in simpel practical level.
This is German site, but there are links to international site (should be courses also in Macedonia and Croatia, free of costs and supported only by the old students donations):
http://www.dvara.dhamma.org/en/courses/index.html
January 11, 2007 6:07:00 AM MET
Marjam,
Bulls-eye. exatly what i had in mind. anticipation of your own reactions too :)
the reactions come from the sub-concionce. but if you know how are you reacting and want to change those reactions, you can contol them and be aware of them.
Murphy has a great book on this - the Power of sub-concionce. he is saying that if things are repeated so many times, thats where your reactions are coming from. and doesnt have to be strong feelings like control of anger or hatered, it can be smile, count to 10 before you react, finish up things that you started. thats why shrinks ask you about childhood or environment. cause it took long time to get into your sub-concionce.
He is giving really simple but very true example. Driving a car. when you learn how to drive, you need silence and focus in order to change the gear, pay attention to the road etc. after a year or two driving has become so deep in your sub-concionce, that you are doing the things automaticly. so in same you can talk to your mobile, listen loud music, drive with one hand, and still change the gear...you dont pay attention to it anymore.
so i believe that its same about controling reactions and anticipating situations.
being one step ahead. knowing what your reaction would be and controling it. knowing and understanding what the other person reaction would be, anticipating it, and managing it, doing something differently if its not working.
if i know that when i get upset, say things that i dont mean, next time when i get upset i would count to 10. sounds easy but it wont work in the first 10, 20, 100 times.but it will after some time.
thats how i am doing it. about many things, treating my friends, being creative and for solutions trying to think outside of the box, anticipating how the situation would develop and acting in accordance with it.
sort of sharpening my perception of the things around me, anticipating the situation, and acting in the best possible way. not letting the automatic reactions to take over. cause many times can be wrong.
i still dont know anyone that does this, but i have something to strive for :)
And Bene my friend, i dont think that other people need to understand you. cause the personal satisfaction cannot be replaced by anything.
January 12, 2007 3:13:00 AM MET
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